Wednesday, May 30, 2012

new habitation

i went back to college @ a merry mature age,
studying ART for education as my declared/desired major.
when I graduated from college
i continued creating ART and pursued teaching.
i was surprised by a hiring freeze and no job. 
i was then educated by 18 months of substitute teaching
and surmised to myself 
that this might be my manner of existence.
i felt like Alice contiually tumbling into the unknown.
i was shocked when offered a job to teach ART...
with gratitude and excitement, i accepted the job.

i have been reading: This Time I Dance.
the book has come into my hands at just the right time.
The author, Tama, tells a story
of pursuing her desire to be a writer
through a series of essays.

i found the following excerpt to be particularly meaning-full this a.m.

>Okay, I hate to break it to you, but get ready for maddening days.  You've just leaped from an established life and you're all gung ho -crazed really- to begin a new established life and yet, what's this, you suddenly can't heave yourself out of bed and it takes you eight hours to finish your "morning" coffee.  All your spirit has fizzled and you're moving in slow motion and now you've started to scare yourself into thinking that maybe this is it: You really are incompetent and you've just started your brand new futile life.

Well, please stop terrorizing yourself.  You're right on track.  I know you want to do, do, do.  But this time asks of you your "undoing". Floating without a context or a business card.  Unleashing tears you may have shunned for years.  Dying to your shell and inhabiting life with sudden sensitivity.  Yes, you will kick up every value, belief, hope, and doubt.  But what settles down creates your new, solid ground.<

thank you, Tama, for your transparency,
for truly i have just experienced 3 such days!

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